Hi friends,
We’re halfway through the year, and I’m halfway done writing the first draft of the novel. Just as the words began to flow (37,078 words to be exact but who’s counting?), an unwanted guest showed up.
The inner critic.
Known to show up anywhere there’s a brave soul embarking on a courageous endeavor, the inner critic often appears after an outpour of creativity.
It’s deemed by experts as the ruler of negative self-talk, imposter syndrome, and the ultimate defense mechanism. Browse Psychology Today, and you’ll find several remedies to overcome its crippling ways. But after all these years of writing, I’m finding only one thing works.
Embrace your inner critic. By this I mean, give it a name. A voice. A stage, even.
So without further ado, allow me to introduce you to… Madame Mediocrity, my inner critic.
She rests in the shadows. Her commentary is suggestive. She sounds a little something like this.
If at first you don’t succeed, quit that shit.
My inner critic appears to be a woman of leisure with endless time at her disposal, who would rather sip tea and swear in the beauty of a remote garden than finish writing a novel.
I’m interested to know: Do you have an inner critic? What does it sound like? Let me know in the comments below.
This, my friends, isn’t my first run in with Madame Mediocrity. Years ago, she appeared at a writing retreat on the coast of California in Big Sur. I was young, broke, and desperate to become a better writer (can you guess which of those are still true?).
I signed up for the lodging option where you can sleep on the floor in an open room and saved hundreds of dollars. I showed up early for class. But then? So did my inner critic.
Back then, her voice was dominating, harsh, and authoritarian. I listened to her while taking in the view of the coastal cliffs. I followed my instructor’s guidance and shared the experience with other writers. I took deep, cleansing breaths scented with fresh Jasmine from the lush gardens on the grounds.
By the end of the retreat, I believed all the negativity and self doubt was out of my system forever. But I was wrong.
My inner critic is alive and well. In fact, she’s sitting in a chaise lounge as I write this letter to you.
“You know, Katie, failure is always an option.” She says, sipping a glass of wine.
And see. Just by giving her that little bit of dialogue, I feel a bit lighter. I’m smiling a little easier. And most importantly, I’m writing.
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My inner critic comes out often. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if my brain is appropriately playing devils advocate or it’s unhelpful criticism. I felt it writing my WIP novel - especially questioning if the plot and the threads I’ve conceptualize are too complicated for me to weave well. Pushing through is the hard part, but acknowledging it it someone (or many someone’s) and having conversations makes it better. And you’ll never get better without trying, even when the trying and learning can be a slog. Thank you for sharing!